Xmas 3000 opened my eyes saw the sunlight coming in I ran downstairs where old Saint Nicholas had been I looked under the tree expecting many gifts I only came to see that he didn't leave shit Ran back up stairs to complain to mom and dad I'd sworn that this year never once had I been bad Came into their room and saw them by the bed Guts scattered everywhere they're positively dead Someone came and killed my family, took my gifts, oh no. Santa Clause you're such a bastard do you even care at tall? Just as my mind started to comprehend the gore I heard a moaning coming from my bedroom door I walked across the hall and listened with my ear the moaning grew to rage I was in total fear I slowly grasped the handle and opened the door my teeth were clenched my stomach turned I was unsure a horrid figure drenched in blood oh I did see it was a zombie waiting patiently for me Cause a zombie came and ate my family, took my gifts, oh no. Santa Clause you're such a bastard do you even care at tall? I hope this is a dream I just want my parents back Santa Clause you killed me I'm never gonna write to you Cause a zombie came and ate my family, took my gifts, oh no. Santa Claus you're such an idiot I loved my parents, oh no. Xmas With/Out Relatives I'm on the inter-state highway en route to you I hope that I can make it through the snow it turned over to ice, oh that's not good I highly doubt I'll make it through And as the traffic pilled on I saw it there A GIANT ROBOT POLAR BEAR! GIANT METAL TEETH OVER A HUNDRED FEET TALL AND HE WAS HUNGRY OH WAS HE HUNGRY I turned my car around and drove back home. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Got home and turned on the TV and watched the news a hundred thousand casualties picked up the phone and dialed you, I "hope" you're alive I turned and jumped up around joy cause you were dead I don't have to drive to your house again! In a normal situation this would be devastating, to say the least. But I'm really really tired if to your house my dear relatives. GIANT METAL TEETH THEY CHOPPED YOU INTO PIECES BITE SIZED PIECES BITE SIZED PIECES XmasPolice Christmas Police Arrest this man He has a gift It isn't even wrapped it's like he got it last minute Christmas Police arrest this girl She has a gift that was given to her before she's re-gifting a toaster? (what a bitch) This is what you get when you suck at giving gifts. Christmas Police I've given all I can and it's not enough I've given all I can I'm tired of going to the mall. This is what you get when you suck at giving gifts. For a minute there I bought you clothes.

xoxo - @sergioni